Gab Guru T-Shirts

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'HEY,no Tongue!'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'But what is the universe for?'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Inflating Boobs.

Guru.

Organic Soldering.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'