Fusion Healing Fan Pillows

Fakir on bed of nails reads an 'Acupuncture' book.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

First aid in mountains

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Have you been working out?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"Krazy straw"

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'