Rejuvenation Fan Pillows

"Sorry, Bernie. We found out about your rejuvenating jelly."

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Da Vinci Cod

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Pre-Television Man Caves

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

You're my Venus

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

Rembrandt's Selfies

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

'Love your renovations.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

2050 A. D: Cloning is quite common place.

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'Your snoring kept me awake all through December!'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."