Funny School Stories Gifts

'To get out of Games you have to bring a note. I always bring a £10 one...'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Teacher's pet dog

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.

Steadman - The Early Years.

'How do you like school?'

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'I'm glad to hear that my son is the class clown.'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

First day at school

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.