Funny School Stories Gifts

'To get out of Games you have to bring a note. I always bring a £10 one...'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Teacher's pet dog

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'How do you like school?'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

'I'm glad to hear that my son is the class clown.'

First day at school

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

"You can't be needing another break - the kids have only been back a week!"

I will not waste chalk

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.