Funny School Moments Gifts

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

Teacher's pet dog

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'How do you like school?'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.

Steadman - The Early Years.

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.