Funny Husband Moments Pillows

'Golf is Life (his).'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"So that's where you were last night."

"Two boys from legal to see you."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"This does not make us friends."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

"How did my mom know I went to get ice cream after school? She's either placed a tracking device on me, or she's tracking my phone."

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

'Your wife came by and left a message'

Even before we began to order in, my dad was always keen to skip the dishes!

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

'I'll bet my Dad's pants are bigger than yours.'

Man putting his brain in glass before bed.

"My dad and I are trading important life skills. He's teaching me how to change the oil in the car."

Thanks to Floss-A-Cuffs, parents can be certain that their kids will maintain proper oral hygiene.

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

'Do you know how hard Daddy had to work to get all those dinosaur brains?'

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

'My wife's an optician'

"Listen, kid...I'm doing you a favor... Don't call here again for at least another 10 years."

"Papi! Baldo broke my favorite pencil!"

Working from home

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'