Funny Gift Aficionados Pillows

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

Speed Dating for Turtles

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Emergency Phone.

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

"Are you the pickle guy or the baby guy?"

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Hissy-fits for sale.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

Masks to buy while buying embarrassing products.

Graduated Cylinders...

'You're not from around here, are you?'

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

'I'm sorry, buddy, but I ran out of bandicoots around Belgium.'

Beer Belly/Vodka Elbow

Chilli Quartet

'This milk smells funny.'

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

"Once again Igor is sent out for a brain and once again he brings back the wrong one. This time he returns with the brain of Libby 'Lipsticks' Harris the world kiss chase champion."

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Nail Bar

'Me, I'm making my pocket money by selling my dad's old shoes as lucky charms...'

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

"It's four pounds a night, and one hour treadmill time..."

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

'First time fly fishing?'

"You do realize she's not your real mother."

You're right! She's mad because we got her a small rodent for her birthday last year, too.

When I said, Do you want to go out> I meant to pee, not on a date.