Devilishly Humorous Gift Aficionados Pillows

'Who can I see about adjusting the thermostat?'

Emergency Phone.

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

Masks to buy while buying embarrassing products.

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

"Once again Igor is sent out for a brain and once again he brings back the wrong one. This time he returns with the brain of Libby 'Lipsticks' Harris the world kiss chase champion."

Dogs with alcohol collars.

Acme Coffee Co.

Chilli Quartet

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

Tunnel of Dove.

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Nail Bar

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

'...Baseball bats, gentlemen, are sacred objects. We do not dress them up in doll clothing.'

You're right! She's mad because we got her a small rodent for her birthday last year, too.

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

"Thank you, Darling...."

Rodney kicked off his fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control...this was not enough.

A homeless man sells t-shirts of himself.

Please give so I don't have to sell reindeer blood for wine money.

"You know who I'd like to see on the team? Stephen Miller."

"Could you forward it to my offshore account?"

Uses of a Dead Cat: Anti-aircraft Defences.