Devilishly Humorous Gift Aficionados Gifts

'Who can I see about adjusting the thermostat?'

Emergency Phone.

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

Dogs with alcohol collars.

Chilli Quartet

'I don't know about you but I spend a fortune on shoes.'

"Once again Igor is sent out for a brain and once again he brings back the wrong one. This time he returns with the brain of Libby 'Lipsticks' Harris the world kiss chase champion."

Acme Coffee Co.

"That does it, I'm getting a snow blower!"

Tunnel of Dove.

"We still don't have a diagnosis for your rash, so we're going to run some more money on it and see what happens."

Father Goldfish: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Nail Bar

Missing sock announcement on a milk carton.

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

"Thank you, Darling...."

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

'...Baseball bats, gentlemen, are sacred objects. We do not dress them up in doll clothing.'

Rodney kicked off his fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control...this was not enough.

A homeless man sells t-shirts of himself.

Please give so I don't have to sell reindeer blood for wine money.

The art of regifting

"Could you forward it to my offshore account?"

"You know who I'd like to see on the team? Stephen Miller."

"It's Christmas time, which means Tia Carmen probably is going to give me what she gets me every year...how can I let her know in a sensitive, mature way that I don't need any more?"