Gift Givers With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

The art of regifting

Acme Coffee Co.

'I think our neighbours have decided to call a Xmas truce to our feuding, they sent us these lovely t-shirts over.'

"I hired someone to take care of your mother's ugly gift. It will look like an accident - the guy is a pro!"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Bagel problems.

House Broken.

'I hope you came with a receipt.'

A giant cat sleeps fitfully with four humans on the bed

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'Mom and Dad, like when did you first text that you loved each other?'

An Anarchist's Christmas

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

Dogs with alcohol collars.

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

'If you can't think of anything nice to say, how about a gift certificate?'

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift."

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"For Christmas you got me a roll of wrapping paper? And you wrapped it?"

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling