Gift-giving Gurus Gifts

Gift Wrap Illusion

"For Christmas you got me a roll of wrapping paper? And you wrapped it?"

"I brought my wife a mink for her birthday, but she refuses to clean out its cage."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Tipping Pain Chart

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

Christmas Dwarves

'I hope you came with a receipt.'

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Russian Doll Christmas

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

Acme Coffee Co.

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'It's my stool sample.'

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

Nothing Personal: Gifts for your business adversaries.

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift."

'If you can't think of anything nice to say, how about a gift certificate?'

"He's your rich uncle. What do you buy the caveman who's hunted and gathered everything?"

"If you're looking for something more expensive we can always raise the price?"

'Honey, I really think last year's very generous Christmas gift absolves me from saying hi each time he delivers the mail.'

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

"Shopping vouchers? Is that all you got him?"

'Gold!! You bought Gold!! What about our agreed upon gift price limit?'

'The next time you buy a tie for me, get one that doesn't look like a beef steak!'