Gift-giving Gurus Pillows

Gift Wrap Illusion

"I brought my wife a mink for her birthday, but she refuses to clean out its cage."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Tipping Pain Chart

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

Russian Doll Christmas

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

'It's my stool sample.'

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

Acme Coffee Co.

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

"If you're looking for something more expensive we can always raise the price?"

'Honey, I really think last year's very generous Christmas gift absolves me from saying hi each time he delivers the mail.'

'If you can't think of anything nice to say, how about a gift certificate?'

Nothing Personal: Gifts for your business adversaries.

"He's your rich uncle. What do you buy the caveman who's hunted and gathered everything?"

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift."

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

"Shopping vouchers? Is that all you got him?"

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

"It's a gift for the tooth fairy so I used dental floss instead of ribbon."

'The next time you buy a tie for me, get one that doesn't look like a beef steak!'

'Gold!! You bought Gold!! What about our agreed upon gift price limit?'

'...and this year I can do without the usual 'nice new toothbrush.''