Funny Folks Gifts

Walk the dog.

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

'Are we there yet?'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

'Great! You mean it's obedience school prom season already!'

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Oh, Wow! With all this baby food flying around, I can't wait until he starts eating steak!!!

"Oooh, look — a penny!"

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"We have met today because you, Cynthia, and you, Kevin, now want to look together for a scapegoat to blame for your stupidity, your laziness, your total failure, and for your antisocial behaviour."

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

'Hello... Hare Club for Men...'

Our body parts

May I get a little extra recess time, Ma'am? I've got to hunt and crush my lunch!

"I don't think air guitar counts."

"They're fake plastic vampire fangs from a dress-up shop, but boy do they make the wolves turn around and leave me alone..."

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

"They'll come home. They're microchipped."