Funeral Fan Gifts

'No. I'm afraid we had to discontinue our incentive program. The cops were asking too many questions.'

"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'...Love, honour, obey, and wipe that silly grin off your face?'

Easter bunny Island.

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

"Forget it, Carl."

Royal Wedding - Car with celebratory union flags,

Football fan

Taking selfies at the kelpies

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

Cleaner and sculpture

'I'm looking for something with more legroom.'

Wedding with 'Ex-wives' and 'Ex-husbands' as places to sit.

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

"This is our basic flush but I think your loved one would appreciate a more substantial flush."

"I'd like to thank...."

'Does my bun look big in this?'

Chinese Funerals.

Are you sure this is what your husband meant when he said he wanted a quiet send-off?

'We weren't expecting a Royal visit.....Where's the King?'

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

The goal posts need to be moved to net zero

"But 'Tibetan Sky Burial' sounded so cool."

Checkout.

"Nice crowd, but where the f*ck is Phil?"

Mobile Crem

"Some people he knew wanted closure."

'The Lord is going to build an extension...'

'It was so sudden. No one's had a chance to tell him.'

Sock Salesman Award