Funeral Fan Pillows

'No. I'm afraid we had to discontinue our incentive program. The cops were asking too many questions.'

"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'...Love, honour, obey, and wipe that silly grin off your face?'

Easter bunny Island.

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

"Forget it, Carl."

“Sorry, we don’t accept the living dead.”

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

Taking selfies at the kelpies

Cleaner and sculpture

Football fan

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

Royal Wedding - Car with celebratory union flags,

"This is our basic flush but I think your loved one would appreciate a more substantial flush."

"I'd like to thank...."

Wedding with 'Ex-wives' and 'Ex-husbands' as places to sit.

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

'I'm looking for something with more legroom.'

'Does my bun look big in this?'

Are you sure this is what your husband meant when he said he wanted a quiet send-off?

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

Chinese Funerals.

'We weren't expecting a Royal visit.....Where's the King?'

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

The goal posts need to be moved to net zero

'But I miss all the funerals we used to go to.'

'The Lord is going to build an extension...'

'It was so sudden. No one's had a chance to tell him.'

Mobile Crem

Sock Salesman Award

Checkout.

"Nice crowd, but where the f*ck is Phil?"

"But 'Tibetan Sky Burial' sounded so cool."

"Some people he knew wanted closure."