Funeral Service Fan Pillows

Checkout.

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

"Dearly beloved - We gather today to honor the life of the greatest magician of our time."

"You fool! This isn't embalming fluid, this is my coffee."

'I told you that something was wrong with your cousin Wilbur.'

Gravedigger

'I'm looking for something with more legroom.'

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

'- and how does the graveyard shift appeal to you?'

"I'd like to thank...."

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

"Is he gonna read the ENTIRE Book of Psalms!?! C'Mon!!!"

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

Wedding with 'Ex-wives' and 'Ex-husbands' as places to sit.

"This is our basic flush but I think your loved one would appreciate a more substantial flush."

Undertakers Pole

Chinese Funerals.

'He would have wanted it this way, Molly.'

"He had himself pierced once too often."

"Yes, it's my husband Ron, it was cheaper to get him stuffed than buried."

Are you sure this is what your husband meant when he said he wanted a quiet send-off?

'It was so sudden. No one's had a chance to tell him.'

"Wrong line, buddy."

'But I miss all the funerals we used to go to.'

'I'm really worried about his soul. One of my handbaskets is missing.'

"Nice crowd, but where the f*ck is Phil?"

"But 'Tibetan Sky Burial' sounded so cool."

Vespers were about to get a lot more interesting.

Mobile Crem

"Some people he knew wanted closure."

Undertaker awards.

"This is your first burial at sea, isn't it!"

"Morning, Father. I'm the funeral director."