Fun-loving Uncle Pillows

Dog traps the postman.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Skateboard

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

"Stay-at-home Snowdad."

Man building a tree house

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Pianist.

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

With Jury Duty for All

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

Santa Claus walks dogs

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

Little known fact #244: Cholera was not the #1 cause of death for children on the Oregon Trail

'I realize it's not much of a war, but it's all we can afford right now.'

"Museum directory: Male statues with big d**ks. Female statues with huge tits & fat butts."

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals

'Enough, George... I let you get the stupid pool. I'm not going to cut your dinner into little pieces and dump it in.'

It's my golf night out with the boys!

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

Makes me feel young again!