Laugh-loving Uncle Pillows

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Dog traps the postman.

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

Pianist.

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Tragedy and Material

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Santa Claus walks dogs

Little known fact #244: Cholera was not the #1 cause of death for children on the Oregon Trail

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Mix up on the maternity ward.

At the Old Bikers' Home

'Enough, George... I let you get the stupid pool. I'm not going to cut your dinner into little pieces and dump it in.'

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

Makes me feel young again!

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'

'Old Fred spoils that pooch of his!'

'I bet he buried something really big there.'

'I'm not here!'

CATS BEHAVING BADLY - cats are watching this tv programme on a badly-scratched sofa

"He says it was his dads first attempt at the school run today."

Cats. Not the play.

'What are you implying.'