Music-loving Uncle Pillows

Pianist.

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Dog traps the postman.

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

You need a new reading light

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

President Grant's Civil Service Reform is not to the Taste of Either Party, despite Professed Enthusiasm

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Russia's always bigger than you think."

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Santa Claus walks dogs

'I realize it's not much of a war, but it's all we can afford right now.'

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

'My 70th...hmmm.. that's shelter, food and sex out of the way. I guess it's time to move on to life's next challenge; mastery over my environment.'

"Museum directory: Male statues with big d**ks. Female statues with huge tits & fat butts."

Plaids set man apart from the lower animals