Fun-loving Gift Giver Pillows

A Cat's Christmas

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

'Hand these out to the workforce.'

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

WC problem.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"This locket contains my very first username and password."

Knowing that Roger loathed the new cat, Janelle tried to win him over by knitting him a pair of boxers made out of fur balls.

'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'

'Well, so much for climbing all the way up here to ask him about the meaning of life.'

"...now she's up tp a jumper a week."

Hissy-fits for sale.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"