Fun-loving Gift Giver Pillows

A Cat's Christmas

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

'Hand these out to the workforce.'

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

WC problem.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"...now she's up tp a jumper a week."

'Sure - They're still chocolates. It's just that the liver-shaped box was cheaper than the heart-shaped one.'

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"

'Well, so much for climbing all the way up here to ask him about the meaning of life.'

'It's just a precaution, the anesthetist can't find his wedding ring.'

'They think I can walk on water.'