Frugal Fishers Gifts

'Good one Dad. Imagine your catch if you had bought us REAl fishing gear.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"There's more inside."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

"It's only until the gas prices go down and I can afford to drive the car again. Maybe you should have an ambulance follow me."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Is that neat whisky?"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

How to do without

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

"I'm finding this model very economical!"

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me ?4000.'

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

"Dr. Jenkins was too cheap to buy a state-of-the-art EHR system so he bought this at a public library auction instead."

'Oh, just send it the cheapest way.'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

Budget Recliner

Excess Baggage: People will do almost anything to avoid paying those fees for checked baggage.

I've got to make an offering to the cheapskate muse. What's that got to do with me? You understand women. What could I do to bring back my goddess of inspiration? That's nice. What's nice? Goddess of inspiration. You mind if I use that line on this hottie I met when I was trolling for broads at the bus station? This is not helping! No, it is. Don't sell yourself short. HOJ.

"The flights are 99p...but it's an extra £435.89 if you want to take them inside the plane!"