Frozen Humorist Gifts

'Listen Carl... maybe the central heating wasn't such a good idea!'

Man looking at a thermometer that has broken due to extreme cold

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Rude Snowpeople

Ooooh! Someone got a carrot job! Someone got a carrot job!

I made snow angels in my good clothes and mom gave me the devil for it!

'There, that should freak 'em out.'

Shaved Ice

'It's easy, just wee!'

"I love this time of year."

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

Weather today.

"I'll admit I've packed on a few extra pounds, but it's only water weight."

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."

Titanic iceberg auction

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

"I told you we came back too early...I'm freezing my tail feathers off!"

"This heat transfer dance had better work. I'm freezing my tail off!"

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

"Normally, applying heat would be the correct therapy, however..."

It's a bit derivative.

'Another botched Snotox injection...'

'Van Helsing, I've told you that just Holy Water isn't enough to kill count Snowcula! You need HOT Holy Water!'

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

Church Parking Sign for Midnight Mass

The Itchy Back

Whoa, you've been working out.

Eskimo Breaking Wind

"Is it me or does this taste like boogers?"

Melted But Not Forgotten