Freezer Humor Fan Gifts

The Penguin Vampire's Awakening

"Little help?"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"No, it's not a growth; It looks more like a bite.''

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"I see Linda and Gay moved back from down South. I knew that wouldn't last."

'Didn't I tell you I could find carrots even in winter?'

The Itchy Back

"Look at you, all gnarly and naked and gross!"

How to Tell Spring is Here.

"What was she thinking?!?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize the water balloons had already frozen..."

Gesundheit! - a christmas tree should be fresh.

"I want to cancel my 3 o'clock and my 4 o'clock, and oh! I want to cancel my 1:30!"

"Oi! You little fucker!"

'Maybe I shouldn't put 'instant cooling' on maximum.'

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

"Ooh...this looks like fun. I could do with a good giggle!"

'Welcome to our world standy uppy slippy world you swimmy jerk!'

'We should have bought the piano first, and built the igloo around it.'

'I didn't know I had to bring a rifle. I'm sort of new at this. Last time I went hunting it was for Easter eggs.'

"Well look who decided to show up."

"Harold, you fool, what were you thinking?!"

Snowman half melted, computer lies on the floor. Other snowman says: 'I warned you about using that laptop.'

"I know I made fun of you for using a box, but it's cold out. It makes sense now, so can I use it?"

'Of course I look cool! Eskimos always do.'

"I want a Bark-O-Lounger."

Sabre Claws had his very own take on season's greetings...