Frontier Medicine Fan Gifts

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

New Age Store.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

'The FDA now requires that we have an actor show you what kinds of side effects you might experience.'

Drug vending machines at hospital.

"Trepanning for gold"

'Drugs' 'Viruses'.

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'The $39.95 is for the prescription, sir, and the $7 surcharge is a little something for our handwriting expert.'

Vaccine race

Dniel Boone makes an involuntary fashion statement.

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

Dr. Glitch. Eye, ear, nose and USB port.

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

'When a doctor looks in your ear with that pointy thing- what's he looking for...?'

From now on, the rats that get steroids don't have to run the maze.

"Here's a list of drug companies in my stock portfolio - could you prescribe something made by one of them?"

'First Rogaine, now Viagra'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'Since when have they started advertising placebos on TV?'

'Pharmaceutical stocks gave the market a real shot in the arm today...'

"I assure you the drug was tested by several mice before they died."

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'Side effects? You have to worry about side effects?'