Friendship Irony Seeker Pillows

"And another thing, you never say I look nice."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

The Red Carpet

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

"All of my friends are imaginary."

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

Eurydice in prison

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

'You have a friend request.'

"There's no point in our being friends if you won't let me fix you."

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

"Oh don't mind us, we are just having a small get together!"

"Beware of dog"

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

"Yesterday I got in touch with a childhood friend!"

Local anaesthetic.

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

'I thought my people were happy, I know I was.

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

"They said it couldn't be done – I made a friend as an adult!"

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.