Friendship Banter Pillows

Weddings...

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Is that neat whisky?"

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

Fuzz - Max expresses pain.

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

'I don't know much about Art, but i can tell you all about his wife.'

'Here comes Ted.'

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'Did you spill my pint?'

'Blah, blah, blah....'

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

"You know all the best pubs for lunch, Seamus."

'Do you know the Lincolnshire poacher?'

"I tell the truth, and sometimes it's funny."