Boyfriend Banter Pillows

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Fuzz - Max expresses pain.

the Morning Joe team.

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

'Here comes Ted.'

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"We've been married so long you not only finish my sentences you start 'em too."

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Thank you for your unsolicited parenting advice! In return, I'd like to tell you about a method I know for removing those unsightly age spots.'

'How long will it be until he can sit up and take the criticism?'

Sports Bar: 5-7 pm No Bullying During Happy Hour.

'Speak with the voice of reason again.'

'How come you always have to have the last . . .'

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

We're back, baby! Oh, no. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr. Web. $12.50. I'll have Jell-o. Make that two Jello-os. We're celebrating. The old lady and I are back together again. What? How dare you?! I'm only four months older than you. You're on thin ice, darling. Oh, I'm on thin ice, snookums? Am I the one who invited his freeloading sister to live with us without even a discussion? Am I the one who "accidentally" left the gate open so her husband's beloved dog could run away? ... Dear? You're the

"He may be evil, but his breath is like air conditioning."