Friend With A Mischievous Side Pillows

"You're doing great boy! Just don't bark."

Skeleton playing fetch.

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"He's starting to flag a bit"

"...and in conclusion..."

Meowlzebub

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

"The world revolves around my cat."

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

"If you don't wake up and get to work, I'm going to call your mom."

"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."

Have you seen Dorothy lately? She's sooo over the rainbow!

Big man on Krampus

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

Nature gave some animals weak eyes for a good reason. Never buy your pet rhino bifocals.

"What have you done?"

Misery lit...

'We were mud wrestling.'

Children playing in a library

"Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you to bark."

Law Books

"I hope you're not allergic to cats...Fluffy just loves visitors!"

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

Pandora's cat.

A planet like ours - "...you know I'm just playing with you before I kill you don't you?"

"Now where did I park my car?"

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

Watch for Children.

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

'I knew the marriage wouldn't last...She brought a date to our wedding.'

"What have you done with her this time?"

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

'A large hole has appeared in the wall of the nudist camp - Police are looking into it.'