Mischievous Storyteller Pillows

'Watch out, these darn kids are coming this way with a salt shaker again...'

Catching an angel...

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

How I met your mother

Meowlzebub

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

Hog Futures

Centaur falls in love.

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"You're doing great boy! Just don't bark."

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

Misery lit...

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"