Friend With A Chihuahua Gifts

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

Zoo. It's wednesday again --- time to wash the camels. I hate "hump" day. (Published originally on July 20, 2005).

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Dog on balconey in city sniffing tree in pot

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

Dog with toilet IV

"I yip, therefore I am."

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"The vet made me wear this, and I can't lick my balls...uh...could I lick yours for awhile, Rex?"

"What's that smell, girl? Is it spring?"

Fetching some fuel.

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

'Tell me about your puppyhood?'

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

'No need to shout.'

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

Dog's game

"Ever since I started reading the newspaper online, he's been bringing me my laptop."

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."