Friend Who Just Got A Puppy Gifts

Four Star Meal

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"I really look forward to this evening's walk."

"It makes me want to pee."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Dog on balconey in city sniffing tree in pot

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

'Mom! -- Spot's skinny-dipping again!'

'Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy! Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy!'

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

'Now cut that out!'

'Do me a favor and don't let my dog see my license photo.'

"It's nice to be wanted."

'Don't look so worried I'm only taking you for a walk in the park!'

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

'Tell me about your puppyhood?'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"Ok, here's this thing again. Don't lose it this time!"

"You've got athletes foot."

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"Oh, for Pete’s sake – it’s the ocean!"

Fetching some fuel.

"What's that smell, girl? Is it spring?"

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'