Friend With A New Dog Gifts

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"They say that every dog has its day, and this apparently is mine."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Love a Mutt

'Works every time.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

Cling-On Dog

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'They're dog roses!'

'Out, damned Spot.'

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"I really look forward to this evening's walk."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

'Mom! -- Spot's skinny-dipping again!'