New Puppy Owner Gifts

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"Cat box"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Cling-On Dog

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

No littering...

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'How's my rabbit settling into his new home? He's still a bit jumpy!'

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

'I think he thinks I'm a pillow.'

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

"I really look forward to this evening's walk."

Robot walking pet robot

'Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy! Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy!'

"That's awesome that you taught him to heel, but I just want him to walk normally."

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

'Mom! -- Spot's skinny-dipping again!'

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

Puppies

"You took too long!"

'Now cut that out!'