New Dog Ownership Gifts

"Maybe we can arrange a little 'doggie play-date'."

No, I seriously doubt a DNA test would exonerate you.

'Oh, I just knew that darned obedience school was a mistake!'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Cat box"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Quick, start the car!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

'Super Dog'

Love a Mutt

Cling-On Dog

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Works every time.'

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

No littering...

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

Dogs

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"