First-time Dog Owner Gifts

'When I bought him, they told me that he was already fully grown!'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Pick me!"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Cat box"

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Quick, start the car!"

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Love a Mutt

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'Works every time.'

Cling-On Dog

'Super Dog'

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

No littering...

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

Dogs

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

"Hey Scout, isn't ice fishing great?"