Friend Of A Hiker Gifts

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 9.

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Echo Tourism'

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

Nature Lovers

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

'It was great seeing you again Terry, we must do wildebeest sometime.'

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

'You're gonna love it son! We'll leave our homes for a few days and live in the great outdoors'

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

The Ultimate Sleeping Bag.

Just think of meditation as "mental floss." (Published previously on 3/17/2006.)

Kelly couldn't recall mating with a condor, but then there was that New Year's Eve party...

"You can take her ... just pretend she's my mother."

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

'My pine scented spray keeps the bugs away, but what do I do about the beavers?'

"I'm not overpacked... I'm prepared!"

"Man, your old lady really is an old lady"