Frequent Flyer Jokesters Gifts

"Hey guys, it's me, Rob! Remember, we flew together yesterday."

Carefree luggage.

Vampire on a plane

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'This is your passenger speaking. Where the hell is my coffee?!'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

"No, I said, 'You turn here, not, 'U-Turn here'."

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

"I hardly fly anymore. The emotional baggage fees were killing me."

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

Flying fish or sardines? (crowded airliner).

'Will keep it down ... you're disturbing our pilot scheduling policy discussions.' Sleeping Pilots?

'Does this effect my Frequent Flyer Miles?'

'We need a third runway for all the ministers flying to India and China to tell them to cut their carbon emissions.'

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

'I'll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings.'

'How many frequent flier miles do you have?'

'Not so fast, Louie -- this may be a trap...'

I suffered a freak accident several years ago where I lost all of my fingers except my middle one, so I'm not really giving you the finger, I'm just trying to thumb a ride.

Opt Out of Body Scans and Pat Downs - Fly Nude.

Excess Baggage: Airlines continue to come up with new add-on charges.

"Finally! I'm saved!"

"We have been betrayed by the earthlings!"

ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.

"There is a cat in this basket and I want to take out baggage insurance that will insure that it gets forwarded to some godforsaken place in the middle of nowhere!"

"We are now jamming passengers into rows 24 through 36."

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

"Once again, we're boarding only our Elite Premium passengers at this time. Thank you."

Every now and then, Doreen liked to see how many people were paying attention to her safety talk.