Freckle Defender Pillows

Little girl tired of being teased for her freckles.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

Goal

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

Fish with Shield

They were young and in love, and Harold would spend whole weekends counting the freckles on Arlene's back, Of course they were also incredibly stupid,,, Arlene only had seven freckles,

'Mind if we turn this off? I freckle easily.'

Save the Cacti.

Revenge of the Mallards.

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

'An expiration date? Gee, all these years, I thought it was just a bunch of freckles!'

Post-Modern Parenting

Bernie Madoff With My Savings

'Uh-oh....'

'That's my accountant - he figures out my points total on ducks.'

Meeting of the Organisation of People With Red Hair and Freckles.

'Yes son, rolling in a ball is a pretty good defence mechanism, but I like to use my club as a deterrent as well...'

'Oy! I saw that!'

'It's not for hunting. I just want to be able to protect my family from deer attacks.'

'Poor old fellow all hunched over and barely able to walk. I should let him park near the exit and give him a discount.'

"When all the animals are exterminated, we just shoot each other!"

"O.K. Here comes one now...you get the first shot!"

Ed argued that although meat was murder, eating fish was culpable homicide.

'I refused to sell out.'