Freckle Defender Gifts

Little girl tired of being teased for her freckles.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

Goal

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

Fish with Shield

They were young and in love, and Harold would spend whole weekends counting the freckles on Arlene's back, Of course they were also incredibly stupid,,, Arlene only had seven freckles,

'Mind if we turn this off? I freckle easily.'

Save the Cacti.

Revenge of the Mallards.

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

"I think Jennifer Lopez gets a bad rap. She's a smart, ambitious woman who works hard, respects her roots, and follows her heart! She deserves all her fame and glory!"

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

'An expiration date? Gee, all these years, I thought it was just a bunch of freckles!'

Post-Modern Parenting

Bernie Madoff With My Savings

This is the Ask Sadie Show. You're on, caller. What's your problem? Movie critics. "Batman V Superman" was a good film. But the critics tore it apart. A lot of the criticism was petty. Like this one critic who said "Henry Cavill is the sexiest log to ever star in a movie. And Zack Snyder isn't fit to direct traffic." Hey ... I call it like I see it. Did you see it? That's beside the point.

'Uh-oh....'

'That's my accountant - he figures out my points total on ducks.'

Meeting of the Organisation of People With Red Hair and Freckles.

'Yes son, rolling in a ball is a pretty good defence mechanism, but I like to use my club as a deterrent as well...'

'Oy! I saw that!'

'It's not for hunting. I just want to be able to protect my family from deer attacks.'

'Poor old fellow all hunched over and barely able to walk. I should let him park near the exit and give him a discount.'

Though she loved Tippy's enthusiastic greeting, Barb never returned home without her Zulu war shield.

"When all the animals are exterminated, we just shoot each other!"

"O.K. Here comes one now...you get the first shot!"

Ed argued that although meat was murder, eating fish was culpable homicide.

'I refused to sell out.'