Fox News Fan Gifts

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"My goodness, if I'd known how badly you wanted democracy I'd have given it to you ages ago."

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

Nervous World Markets.

'Doc, I think I'm going postal.'

Fox hunting.

NSA - 'Start Leakin'.'

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

Negative Interest Meeting

Fiscal cliff

A fake news reader amongst a series of real newscasts.

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

"To show you how committed the company is to ending this strike, we are moving operations to Mexico."

Pop star weather report.

Not Moses

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

Why foxes can't tell jokes.

Fake News, 50 cents.

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

The Flip Side of the Question.

Aesop's Fables: The Fox and the Crow

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

Man Diverts the Hunt...and hides the fox!

"President Gorbachev had his hands full again today."

'That was the worst performance I've ever seen.'

The EU as a sinking ship.

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'