Light News Fan Gifts

"On the lighter side, here's Muffin with a piece of string."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Meet the Enemy

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Capital Tours

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

Reporter #6: television.

"My goodness, if I'd known how badly you wanted democracy I'd have given it to you ages ago."

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

Classic News.

'You've been killing files again.'

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Big Newspaper Delivery

Charades

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

CONGRESS, 'It was a really tight race this time -- I had to use some of my campaign contributions for CAMPAIGNING!'