Four-eyed Friend Gifts

Alien Optician.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

Dog lover

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

Family with pets.

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Have you tried biting him?"

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

Dog owner sees pet reading book, 'How to train your owner'.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Dog Sees Only Food

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Fish needs bigger hole."

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

"It's called a "sanctuary": they fixed my broken wing, took care of me for a few weeks, then released me. Amazing..."

Shelter Dog 101 "Perfect!"

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.