Forgetful Funsters Gifts

'But...I forgot where I parked.'

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

Climbing with the baby

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

"Are you going to move?"

"Oh, boy...the leaves are falling....that means it's time to bury my nuts. But I can never find my nuts after I bury them."

"I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the #@&&!# kid who keeps us from having time to do anything!"

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"Oh, he's cute, all right, but he's got the temperament of a car alarm."

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

Person playing the cymbals.

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

Is it true that a goldfish has a memory of just a few seconds? Don't recall. Hey, Ernie, whose turn is it to sleep in the castle? Don't recall. Maybe we should flip a rock for it. Sure. Okay, I'll be the flat side and you be the round side. What are we flipping for? Not sure. I'm exhausted. Let's call it a day. Whose turn is it to sleep in the castle. Don't recall.

Arnie's career is cut short by a beanball! (man sits at desk).

'There you are, Mr. Marco.' Memory man visits Lost Property

Church: Built by Guilt.

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'Well, thanks for getting me involved. Now I have to stand in the 'naughty corner', too!'

'...And the meek shall receive a huge bailout!'