Forever Single Club Gifts

La Table

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'He lived and died for golf.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

And that's why I'm still single!

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

Bachelor Cake

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

"I fancy tall men."

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

The Post Office Is... Forever

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

'Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Apparently you believe love is blind.'

"Dibs on the tall one!"

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

Old woman with a government improvement grant meeting with a cosmetic surgeon

'This is the third year in a row she claims she's just 5 1/2 years old.'

"She admits to being 40, but not when."

"I'm alone, cowboy."

Plastic Surgery: Growing Old Is Not An Option

"Do you have a minute to talk about your retirement years?"

Old biker with a zimmer frame.

'What a coincidence! My student loan payment bill and my first social security check...'