Forever Single Club Gifts

I've decided it's time for me to start dating again. Again? I've known you for twelve years, and I've never seen you date. I've been focused on work to the exclusion of all else. I have no hobbies, no friends, no interests at all that are unrelated to by business. Lately that's started to take a toll on me, Rudy. I've become sullen. Depressed. Lonely. Bitter. Morose. My customers have begun to notice, and I worry my bad mood will drive them away. So ... you want to focus less on business because

La Table

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

'He lived and died for golf.'

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

And that's why I'm still single!

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

"I fancy tall men."

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

Bachelor Cake

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

The Post Office Is... Forever

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

'Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Apparently you believe love is blind.'

"Dibs on the tall one!"

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

'This is the third year in a row she claims she's just 5 1/2 years old.'

Old woman with a government improvement grant meeting with a cosmetic surgeon

"She admits to being 40, but not when."

Plastic Surgery: Growing Old Is Not An Option

"I'm alone, cowboy."

"Do you have a minute to talk about your retirement years?"

Old biker with a zimmer frame.