Forever Single Gifts

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

It can be taken up at any age....

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

'He lived and died for golf.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"I don't know...but it seems like nothing ever changes around here. It's like we've been 15 years old forever!"

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

And that's why I'm still single!

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

Bachelor Cake

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

You've got the body of a man less than half your age

The Post Office Is... Forever

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

Woman seeks male companion...

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

"We’re ready when you are!"

Baby Boomers will be 100 before they think they're 50.

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

"Six years of university followed by 14 years of postgraduate studies. You here for a job, or a seniors discount card?"

"At sixty years old I actually feel like a twenty year old."

Single and Offended

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

"Can Wilbur come out and play?"