Forever Single Gifts

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

It can be taken up at any age....

Do you think I'm sixty?

"I said, 'You must be waiting for 'Mr. Right,' too.'"

'He lived and died for golf.'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

"I don't know...but it seems like nothing ever changes around here. It's like we've been 15 years old forever!"

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

And that's why I'm still single!

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

Bachelor Cake

You've got the body of a man less than half your age

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

The Post Office Is... Forever

Woman seeks male companion...

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

"We’re ready when you are!"

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

Baby Boomers will be 100 before they think they're 50.

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

"At sixty years old I actually feel like a twenty year old."

Single and Offended

'The groom called to say he can't marry you today. He totally forgot he was in a pool tournament this weekend.'

'This is the third year in a row she claims she's just 5 1/2 years old.'

"Can Wilbur come out and play?"