Forever Golfer Gifts

'He lived and died for golf.'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Golf lessons

'At last they're waving us through - Away you go George.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

'I'm banned from going to golf with him again: How was I supposed to know I'm not to bring the ball back?'

'Don't move.'

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'Aren't they restricted at this club?'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

Rodin's Golfer, Rodin's Divot

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

'You're away, Doc!'

'Maybe I should use the nine iron.'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"Duh!"

'Your guy looks a little nervous.' 'Yeah,i know. It's the first time he's ever played in front of such a huge gallery.'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

"Mom says you are going to play in the sand."

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.