Devoted Golfer Gifts

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

'I'm banned from going to golf with him again: How was I supposed to know I'm not to bring the ball back?'

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

Money Flow increases as Tiger Woods returns to the game.

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Aren't they restricted at this club?'

'You're away, Doc!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

'Maybe I should use the nine iron.'

Rodin's Golfer, Rodin's Divot

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'Are you sure it's ours?'

"Mom says you are going to play in the sand."

Executioner with golf bag full of axes

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

'Of course I can make a commitment. I'm committed to my job, I'm committed to the constitution and I'm committed to my golf game.'

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'Your guy looks a little nervous.' 'Yeah,i know. It's the first time he's ever played in front of such a huge gallery.'

'D'ya wanna wait until it thaws to see if it drops in the hole.'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

Golf Ball Meatball

U.S. Lunar Open