Devoted Golfer Gifts

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

'I'm banned from going to golf with him again: How was I supposed to know I'm not to bring the ball back?'

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'Hey, Dad! How about a round of computer golf?'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'Aren't they restricted at this club?'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

'Maybe I should use the nine iron.'

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'You're away, Doc!'

Rodin's Golfer, Rodin's Divot

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'Of course I can make a commitment. I'm committed to my job, I'm committed to the constitution and I'm committed to my golf game.'

'Your guy looks a little nervous.' 'Yeah,i know. It's the first time he's ever played in front of such a huge gallery.'

"Mom says you are going to play in the sand."

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

'Are you sure it's ours?'

'D'ya wanna wait until it thaws to see if it drops in the hole.'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

Golf Ball Meatball

'Fore!'

U.S. Lunar Open