Golf Course Devotee Gifts

Tiger out of Woods

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Disraeli's Reform Bill Passes the Committee Stage

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

Free Range Golfers

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

The Golfer Gardener

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

Methuselah shoots his age.

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

Woman reading book entitled 'Mad Love' while man is fast asleep, hugging his golf clubs.

Smooching on the Golf Course.

"Okay, she can have the kids, but my golf clubs stay with me."

'Human resources? This firm is totally lacking in ingenuity. Hire some ingenues at once.'

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

"If he was holding up play, we'd call it 'justified homicide'"

A golfer unknowingly being stalked by the Grime Reaper pulling his special range of scythes.

Golf on the moon

'Damn! I forgot I needed arms to pull the cord.'

Tennis Fan

"I told you it was a rough course to play."

"I had you doing six in a five."

I tossed a coin to decide between playing golf or going to work. I had to toss the coin four times.

He lived and died for golf.

Fore

Golf cart stuck in the sand trap.

"I swear to god Henderson, if you miss this one we're taking separate ubers back to the helipad."

'Thank God its Monday!'

Golfer crying over the grave of a sandwedge

'Don't worry, I can see the green...'