Golf Course Junkie Gifts

"I told you it was a rough course to play."

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'Worst stand trap ever!'

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

'Golf is Life (his).'

Golfers lost on the road

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

'I'm doing this course on, the importance of moderation.'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

The Golfer Gardener

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'Don't leave me, Mary! You know my whole world revolves around you!'

'Good shot!'

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

Golf Crime Scene.

'It's raining. Forget the picnic.'

'Careful... She thinks you're trying to steal her eggs!'

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Mr. Crenshaw gave up Sunday golf to go to church.'

"Okay, she can have the kids, but my golf clubs stay with me."

Things get heated at the outing.

"Boss, I can't make it in. I'm feeling way under par this morning."