Golf Club Devotee Gifts

A golfer has died on the 14th hole and is mourned by his mates, two other golfers ask - 'Do you mind if we play through...?'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

Free Range Golfers

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Gentleman's Club Scene

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'We're looking for missionaries to cover the golf courses and shopping malls.'

Methuselah shoots his age.

"I'd rather be golfing...and I am."

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

Smooching on the Golf Course.

"Whenever it's a damn drizzly November in me soul, I do a little profit taking."

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

'Human resources? This firm is totally lacking in ingenuity. Hire some ingenues at once.'

'I am so very frustrated! I know it's hard for you to understand, but you don't know the golf course.'

"Okay, she can have the kids, but my golf clubs stay with me."

"Please take me to your club."

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

Golf on the moon

Putting on ice

"Please take a seat and wait! The dentist is very busy today. He has almost done eighteenth holes!"

Tennis Fan

"Golf is the worst fun anyone can have."

"Golf is the only game that comes with a slave."

Golf Lady

A golfer unknowingly being stalked by the Grime Reaper pulling his special range of scythes.

'What do you mean, we should join the men's movement and have a meeting? This is a meeting of the men's movement!'

"There's old Fuchburg's harrumph. Right on time."

I tossed a coin to decide between playing golf or going to work. I had to toss the coin four times.

"I had you doing six in a five."